Caution: Emo Moment.

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Deviation Actions

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I heard of this site named Rexxfield, ( www.rexxfield.com/ ) who specializes with online reputation and some methods for repairing them.  One method that I found very interesting is their OLIMIRE™ process that uses web search engine’s criteria to push offensive sites off the first page of Google Searches, or at the very least, below the fold.  (FYI, the “Fold” of a web page is where the bottom of the screen is, and you need to scroll down to see the rest.  It’s usually about 700 to 800 pixels down from the top of the visible window of your browser.)

I’m contacting this company hoping that they could help me improve my own personal reputation.  The proprietor of this company’s writing a book about it and he’s looking for case studies.  However, I have the feeling that I could be a rather formidable challenge for him, mainly because most of the flack in my Google searches are caused by my own hand.  Mainly, the old fanfictions of the late 90s to early ‘naughts that I don’t even have on my page anymore, but other people have gladly offered in their own pages without my permission or control.  These sites, of course, have a higher rank than my own site, and it has gravely affected my chances for personal development and even, in general, get over with what happened in the past.

The point is this: I’m sorry for writing ‘Piasa’ the way I did.  I want to rewrite it and make it what it should have been (a domestic take on a Toho-style Godzilla movie) all along.  I’m sorry for ‘Sailor Moon: American Kitsune.’  I’m sorry for making the original version of ‘BAM’ the quagmire it became.  I’m sorry for all those half-assed works, both in word and in art, that most people troll me over.  I’m sorry for getting so bogged down in the flack that I end up dropping projects and looking for a better replacement in areas that might not welcome me in.  And I’m especially sorry for being an ass about it all.  I wish I’ve never done any of it.  I wish I could leave it behind–it is over a decade old, I need to say–and move on with my life.

Problem is, I’m just not allowed.

Not as long as the Encyclopedia Dramatica and the other anti sites stuck on me like the Scarlet Letter remain in top ranking on Google searches of my name.  Without this digital millstone around my neck, I would have forgotten all about these sites, or at least, be in on the so-called ‘joke.’

If you think what they do is harmless and accuse me of whining, let me ask you this: If I came looking for a job, and all you see in me is the Google search, would you hire me?  Would you take as much as a passing glance at my resume or my submission?  Would you ever consider what I can contribute to your organization or company, or even your life?  Would you think of anything other to do than dress me down–in public for added effect–and see me get thrown out of your sight?  Regardless of who I am now and how far I’ve matured since then?

People say I should be happy that I’m famous.  Well, with this level of Fame, I should be getting offers to do books and movies.  Projects that should get me off Social Security.

At the heart of the matter–the reason why I’m still here–is the one thing I want out of life.  The one thing that’s hopelessly impossible for me to get in some areas:  Forgiveness.  Redemption.  An image of me that’s different than what I’ve gotten–deservingly so–during the nineties.

I want to be known for what I can do, instead of someone else’s lulz.

That’s why I’m looking into this Rexxfield comapny, with the hopes that I can at least salvage some good out of what could be the worst public reputation anyone outside of politics could ever have.

It’s also why I want to publicly thank each and every one of you who still welcome me into your sites, groups, hearts, and minds.  There isn’t that many places I can go that doesn’t troll me outright, and I feel strongly connected to the sites that do.

To all else, I want to ask you this: I don’t know if you’re either a diehard troll or someone who just heard of my ‘reputation’ and want to know more about me directly.  I won’t make that distinction now.  What I’m asking out of you is something small, but at times would seem easier to rather cure cancer or change the orbit of the earth: I want you to keep an open mind about me.  I’m not the David Gonterman of over a decade ago, when I was younger and foolish.  I want you to think–maybe in spite of either one of us–that I can be different than the image some has in me.  And that I can be better than who I was and will continue to do so.

Thank you.

EDIT:  Claiming that I deserve to be ED's whipping boy because of a perceived lack of improvement on my talent is rather counterproductive.  I'm not talking about my talent, I'm talking about who I was personally then compared to now.  When people talk about my bad reputation online, such as what Relee talks about, it's about me as a person.  (Besides, people saying that someone deserves to be flamed at the levels I've gotten would be like taking someone who's been stabbed in the back and charging them with concealed carry.)

My 'Google Rep' would be part of why I haven't improved as an artist, according to some.  You might work your butt off getting to the next level, but if all you're going to get out of it is what the ED says about you, what's the point?  (Seeing the same poor results no matter what you do or how you do it could make for some major discouragement.)

That's why I'm glad and very grateful about the predominately positive responses I've been getting, throughout the net as well as here.  It's the reason why I even bother keeping on going in this site.



© 2008 - 2024 davidfoxfire
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If I may, here's my thoughts on what you should do:

Embrace your bad reputation. No, seriously. You might not like that you're viewed as some internet pariah, but you have to realize that you have something more people never come close to: an audience. Sure, they might just be "in it for the lulz", so to speak, but bad publicity is still publicity and your stuff has an actual reader base. What you need to do is just post absolutely everything you've ever created. Yes, everything. It doesn't matter how shameful you view it, just post it unaltered. From your earliest fanfic to the the latest comic, leave nothing untouched. This will ease the accusations that you're trying to dodge your reputation and, thus, remove one of the key elements that people are attacking.

Speaking of which, stop trying to delete your old web presence. It doesn't work. The harder you fight to get your stuff deleted, the harder people will fight back to keep it available. Your attempt to escape Encyclopedia Dramatica, MSTron, Commuter Barnacle, etc. has only fueled the fire and made people seek out more of your stuff. If you had not tried to delete everything possible and been a dick about it in the process, all your stuff would have just come to a natural death on its own and you'd have been largely forgotten.

However, since that option has largely lapsed a long time ago, you now have two choices. Either you embrace your reputation for creating self-indulgent, socially awkward wish fulfillment pieces (please don't deny that this isn't the case, even with your recent stuff) and start trying to outdo yourself (for example, take the ridiculously overpowered "Davey Crockett" and make him a literal god). You should probably refrain from the racism, sexism, homophobia, incest, etc., but you have a lot of material to work with.

Or, as somebody suggested, change your name. This is a much, much more difficult path because you have a, shall I say, "unique" artwork style and if David Gonterman vanished without a trace while somebody else with a suspiciously similar style showed up out of nowhere, people would figure it out pretty fast.

However, here's a third option: do both. Cultivate David Gonterman, the thin-skinned Marty Stu writer and cartoonist and post a couple rushed pieces of artwork and prose on a regular basis. Keep it in the radar. On the side, create a new persona with a completely different name and a radically altered artwork style. Use this persona to distance yourself from the David Gonterman that is subject to the constant ridicule of the internet. You still have a potential future. All you need to do is make it happen.